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The Moment You Adopted these Abandoned Chinese Children – A Letter to Parents in the United States

Updated: Dec 17, 2021

I started to follow this phenomenon three years ago when I read an article about numerous abandoned Chinese children with disabilities who were adopted in the United States.

Last year, I reached out to the Lumpkins family— a warm, loving family that had adopted six Chinese children over the years. I noted that the family had to sacrifice their Lexus for a pre-owned, older model Toyota due to financial difficulties, and from that point on, I decided to establish a foundation to support these families who have been blessed with love, but still struggle financially.

One week ago, I received the official documents from Internal Revenue Service, stating that “A Perfect Love,” the organization that I had established, was approved as tax exempt non-profit. I understood the true weight and impact of the papers I held in my hand — this symbolized that the first foundation in the world that specifically supported families in the United States who adopted abandoned Chinese children with disabilities was starting on the right track.

Today, approximately 90,000 Chinese adoptees with disabilities have been adopted by families in the United States. When such a number has been marked in history, I ultimately decided to write this letter to those parents, who spend days and nights over the course of years, growing together with these children.

I understand there is a large cost behind making the decision to adopt, which is rarely an option for families with average incomes. In other words, without exaggeration, you have to pay for the “luxury” of love. To adopt a child from China with disabilities entails paying roughly $31,000 to $33,000 to agencies from both sides. This is also only the beginning: you will have to spend more on adoption, especially for children with serious disabilities. For example, Molly Lumpkins has to live with spinal complications, which prevent her from walking straight. At the age of 16, she must walk with a walker. The daily expenditure for Molly's adoption is significantly high, and it is even higher for some people like the Austin family, who adopted a blind girl.

I know that you have exhibited extraordinary patience and amazing persistence in this process. It is very simple to adopt other children in the United States. It usually takes about 45 days to take the child home. However, the completion of all legal procedures for the adoption of a child from China takes an average of two to three years. Children like those in Bush family, two children living with HIV who have been left by their Chinese parents and then adopted by the family, went through a long wait to finally meet with their three siblings in the United States.

I know that you undergo experiences that other people may never even fathom. Take for example, the brother and sister adopted by the Ryan family; each child must go through five surgeries to be at optimal condition. With an average period of two-months per surgery, the family was immersed in thoughts about post-surgery and the next pre-surgery. One time, I saw that little boy with both hands and feet, surgically wrapped, who couldn’t take anything by himself. It was their other daughter who was carefully feeding popsicles to her brother.

I am not a believer of God, but all of you and your children let me see how humans can promote the sacredness of love.

Due to you and your families’ dedication, about 90,000 Chinese children have been brought into whole new homes and families, with happiness and love that they can share with you. From you and your children’s efforts, countless seeds of apprehension and pain were turned into lovingly cared-for flowers, whose beauty can be seen even across the ocean.

These children can now bless their families with just as much love as they receive. This is a perfect tale of love in today’s world, so I named this foundation "A Perfect Love.”

The initiative for writing this letter to you is that I want to tell you that you are not alone in this endless journey. I cannot experience what you have, but I can help you along the way!

You can log on to our website today, which is both in Chinese and English (English website:; Chinese website: to download the form to apply for financial support. You can also call the hotline at (626) 810-0820 for consultation.

I am on a journey, walking along with you. I know this is a life-long journey, but I am not worried that I will not complete it. In my eyes, this is more of a relay race; I have gathered a group of like-minded people who I will be able to count on during the process. They are continually coming from all directions to become "co-founders" of the foundation. I understand that their support is not because of my passion, but because of the inspiration you and your families bring.

I know that I cannot change the grim reality that a baby with one or more disabilities is abandoned in China every day. (There are figures that demonstrate that about 6,000-8,000 babies are still being abandoned by their parents every year, and about 80% of those children have different degrees of disability.) I know that I cannot change the mindsets of all those Chinese parents who want to adopt abandoned babies but only want to choose healthy children. (Those who have been abandoned in Chinese welfare homes are only waiting for someone to appear and change the fate of their lives. If they have not been adopted before their 14th birthday, they can never be adopted at all according to Chinese law. They can only enter society marked as alone and with disabilities, embarking on a difficult road to survival.)

I cannot change those things. Regardless, I believe that all parents who have adopted babies with disabilities who have been abandoned in China like you all should not have to sell your personal belongings and lower your living standards because of financial difficulties; all parents like you should not have to borrow money to do necessary surgeries for your beloved children.

My personal strength is meager, and the co-founders of the foundations I travel with are not billionaires. Therefore, the funds we can provide at this stage are also very limited. But we are all willing to start from scratch — we believe in the meaning and goal of this foundation, and we are looking forward to the spark that brings us to new heights!

We cherish the work you have put in for "a perfect love.” We also understand that some of your families have one or more dilemmas going on due to various difficulties.The mission of A Perfect Love is to aid people with these struggles and to strive for making the stories of "a perfect love" a long-living, collective story. Ultimately, we strive to make your infinite love last along with us!

Founder of A Perfect Love

Steven Shen

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