The end of 2021 is a very special period in my life. I have never cried every day for so many days in a row.
This feeling is not sadness, but it is also closely connected with a kind of sadness. This feeling is not happy, but there is also a kind of joy mixed in it. The most important reason of these tears is such an unknown group of human beings, and their daily actions are displayed in front of me like a group of sculptures - this is the United States that adopts the disabled and abandoned Chinese kids family. They put love into the life of every "not cute" child, and they use their daily practice to show the world what faith is.
Since December, I am with my colleagues from our foundation to communicate with a number of American adoptive families we have been in contact with as in previous years. We want to know what kind of Christmas gifts their adopted Chinese children and their families want, and then go to satisfy their wishes.
At this moment, I suddenly discovered that my junior sister Luo Xin and documentary director Zheng Qiong were doing the same thing. Like digging gold mines, they excavated the stories of families who adopted Chinese abandoned children from all living beings in the United States, and sorted out the wish lists of these families and put them on the Internet. It aroused a lot of Chinese people to donate.
So I also joined the team of competing for gifts. Every day I read about these extraordinary human deeds, and that's how I've been every day.
Finally, together with our own connected American families, our China-US Charity Foundation gave a total of 73 gifts to 36 families in December. It was in this "snap purchase", in the process of fulfilling the little wishes of these families, that my life was connected to these great men.
I would like to record these shocking facts and insights, and I will take this gift of destiny to tomorrow.
(1) They are great in their humbleness
According to the US State Department, the United States has adopted a total of 100,000 to 110,000 Chinese abandoned children. The number of adopted families is about 30,000. (as most of these families have more than one child adopted). If you look at a close-up view of their daily lives, you can see that these American adoptive parents have a characteristic ，a humble mindset. This can also be clearly seen from the 65 families compiled by Xin Luo and Qiong Zheng.
Due to the limited space of this article, we only select the experience of one adoptive mother, the self-report of several adoptive parents and their feedback after receiving the gift, which is enough to see their mentality.
1. Choose Hope - we spent 228 days in intensive care and we never left.
Justin and Tamara Harris from Georgia had four biological children. When they heard that an abandoned girl in China was suffering from a serious heart condition and there was a chance for a heart transplant, they decided to adopt the kid Rynli from Shenzhen. They immediately lined up for her heart transplant when they back to US.
Tamara recalled the process of adopting and treating Rynli back then, and gave such a self report.
"We heard of this child with a rare heart condition from an adoption advocacy team. At the time, doctors in China said her only chance of survival was a heart transplant.
And the chance of getting a new heart in China is little. The transplant list is long and expensive because there are not enough organ donors. We also have a lot of thoughts and prayers about this child. The whole family has been praying for the child. Finally we felt capable of satisfy her needs and fight for her.
We brought this girl back to America in November 2019. (Just more than two months before the outbreak of the Covid19 and the suspension of flights between China and the United States. It would be unimaginable for this child's life).
But on September 18, 2020, our daughter suffered a sudden heart failure, which broke our hearts. We took her to the cardiac intensive care unit and her heart was barely beating. Doctors were also unsure if she would survive the night. This is when the adoption community and the church unite around us, and we begin to plead with God.
We spent 228 days in intensive care and never left. Life support, ventilator, multiple organ failure, 5 open-heart surgeries, cardiac arrest, stroke, pneumonia, sepsis, the child has been on the brink of death, and we have been praying.
On March 24, we finally got that call, there is a heart that could be transplanted to Rynli. Our hearts go out to the donor family and our souls are filled with hope and sadness.
March 25, the day of the child's heart transplant.
We were anxiously waiting in the waiting room during the surgery. My heart is like a roller coaster. When the hospital alarm lights came on, we hugged and cried out to God. I understand that the fulfillment of my promise requires the lost of another child's life! The gift of life is too heavy!
Finally, Rynli Grace's heart transplant was successful. And she started the process to recovery. The child stayed in the hospital for several more months. We continue to guard day and night.
The girl had a total of 8 weeks of catheterization. The final result came out with zero rejection.
We are extremely grateful. We chose the hope.
Today, Rynli is growing up, and she has the hope of enjoying a good life like a normal person.
And Rynli can live to this day precisely because the people who appeared in her life have chosen hope again and again from the time she was born. Her biological parents made the most painful and selfless decision, choosing to let her go, Hope she survives. (This is how the adoptive mother perceives the child's biological parents!)
Her orphanage chose hope, believing that someone might adopt her. They fought hard for this.
Our adoption agency chose hope that despite this extraordinary adoption and medical emergency, they were able to complete successfully.
Our medical team chose hope, fighting for the hope of a new day every day of the 228 days spent in the ICU.
Heart donation families have chosen hope. They are suffering from the loss of a family member, but they are willing to bring hope to another life.
Her father and I are only part of this child's story, but we've received the best gift ever. That gift is our daughter, Rynli Grace, who survived.
In an adoptive family, people often only see the dedication of the mother. In fact, my father also paid a lot. On Father's Day this year, mom Tamara confessed to her husband Justin:
"Happy Father's Day to the love of my life. You work full time every day, and at night you go to the hospital to take care of our daughter. Cry with her, take care of her, hold her little hand. Then You go home exhausted to be with the other kids. Sometimes you finish cooking at home and go back to the hospital before you can eat. You are a truly selfless person. You are our strong backing. I am honored to be your wife, the children and I are grateful for you. Say Thank you can't be enough. Happy Father's Day my love. We love you!"
2. The self-report of the mind, these adoptive parents said this.
"Eight years ago our adoption journey was not easy at all. That whole year was not easy, in fact the past eight years have not been easy. And adopting a daughter is completely different from a son. Daughter from day one We were like, "Why did it take you so long to take us home? "But it's not so easy with the sons. We had to win each other's love from the very beginning. We've made a lot of mistakes and detours in this regard, and we need to be forgiven."
A pair of parents who adopted more than one disabled child into their own family, and they are still full of guilt!
Glenn and Barbara Anderson from South Carolina are a true pair of historical figures in the history of orphan adoption in China. They started their journey of adoption of orphans in China in September 1989, before China's adoption law was introduced. (The Adoption Law of the People's Republic of China was only promulgated on December 29, 1991—author's note).
They successively adopted 4 Chinese disabled and abandoned babies. They look back on the adoption process that year and say-
“We thank God every day for these precious gifts. Our seven children (three of them biological) and nine grandchildren are our pride and joy. We will never forget the birth mother of these amazing children The sacrifices made - what a precious gift they are!" (again here is the attitude of adoptive parents towards the biological parents of an abandoned child).
According to Florida mom Lynnie Fleites:
“We learned that Lucy was born in 2008, which is the year we started praying for adoption of a child with Down syndrome! So we thought she was our daughter after all.
It took us 13 months to bring Lucy home. We flew to China in November 2016. From the first second he saw us, Lucy ran towards us with open arms and joy, and we never let go!
We are currently considering adopting another child in the US or China. But I've always had China in my heart because that's where my baby girl was born. I'm thinking about another trip to China (to adopt a child) in the future. "
Ivy Bischof from New York State puts it this way:
"We have two biological daughters, but we want more. So we figured out how to save up for adoption. But some things are meant to be. — at this moment my father-in-law The behavior of Mr. Chen reinforced our decision. At that time, due to his poor health, he decided to realize some assets and distribute them to his children. The assets distributed to us allowed us to start immediately without waiting to save money. Adoption application.
When we told my father-in-law what we were going to do with his gift, he was ecstatic. He died a few months later, unable to wait to see his new granddaughter in person. But before leaving us, he gave us his daughter as a gift! "
Another adoptive mother said:
"We are grateful for the kind Chinese people, and we often think of the biological parents of Boaz we adopted. Even though we don't know them, they must be wonderful, beautiful and interesting. Because Boaz has all those qualities. We will always be Keep a place in my heart and respect that they are Boaz's first parents."
-Very different from how many of us see their child's biological parents!
3. American adoptive family replies after receiving the gifts
When we sent these American families a wish list of gifts, they responded quickly, too. From these simple words, we can see their daily life and their mentality. Olene, the adoptive mother in Seattle, got back to me the day she got her Christmas present.
I feel so sad to hear this. We've given her family of seven nothing more than thousands of dollars in gifts and shopping cards this year, but she can "buy what she's always wanted". Then how many things she has always wanted that she can't usually buy? Wasn't she the one who lived frugally but spent a lot of money - paying a one-time adoption fee of $33,000 for each child, and went to Henan, China, to adopt one after another of abandoned children with HIV in their blood?
Her words touched my heart. It is they who gave their love day in and day out to bring a whole new life to two children who were abandoned by their biological parents with AIDS in their blood. And we only did so little and they were so grateful.
Another adoptive mother replied：
While I was sending Christmas gifts to these families that our foundation has been in touch with, my college mate Xin Luo and director Qiong Zheng also launched a gift-giving activity for adoptive families in the United States. They sorted out the stories of adoptive families and their Christmas wish list, and put them on the Internet for those who were moved to grab gifts.
Since A Perfect Love Foundation has the same philosophy as Xin Luo and Qiong Zheng, and faces the same target group, I did not hesitate to join the competition after I was busy with my family affairs. in action on their wish list.
"I was shocked! This is impossible! I am dreaming! Impossible!" That's how these American adoptive families responded when they received the gift. And what followed was a touching interaction between Americans and Chinese.
When people saw the stories of these American adoptive families, they immediately acted to buy gifts from their wishlist, and the items on the wishlist continued to be emptied. (Once a gift is bought, it disappears from the list).
The wishlist of the original 16 families were quickly emptied. The exclamations above come from these 16 families. They never thought in their life that a group of strangers would help them in this way, to express their gratitude to them.
When an American mother received her first Amazon package, she sat on the ground and cried.
These American families are usually a large family, some with three or five children, and some with a dozen children. However, they have never entered the Chinese circle. Although their children were adopted from China. Because those children were abandoned and no relatives could be found. The impression these American parents have on China is the airport, hotel, welfare institution, and civil affairs bureau they experienced during the adoption trip. After returning to the United States, they lost contact with China.
And what about their adopted children? Most of them are short of arms and legs, paralyzed with cerebral palsy, blind and dumb, autistic and mentally retarded... In short, it is a child who does not even want his biological parents.
And this group of Americans will always carry the burden of life on their own and move forward with gritted teeth. The only people who can support them are the church and some similar families.
Suddenly this day, they have contact with a group of unfamiliar Chinese. Time and time again, these Chinese people are emptying their wishlist, showing in this way: we see you, we appreciate you, and we want to help you.
Almost every one of these families shed tears, sad, excited, and suppressed for a long time. They keep saying: This is a real Christmas miracle!
In fact, we all know that they are the ones who really create miracles.
They used to let their children learn Chinese, dress them in Chinese-style clothes, and hang Chinese-style ornaments at home, trying to make their children closer to the culture of their mother country. But now, for the first time, they truly felt the love of those strangers from their child's home country.
Almost every adoptive family said that they would seriously tell their children: these gifts are all from Chinese people who have the same appearance as you. They love you.
For these families, this year's Santa Claus is Chinese.
When the wishlist of the 16 families were all cleared, Xin Luo and Qiong Zheng reminded them: You can put a few more things in. They always ask: Is it appropriate to do this? The answer is: appropriate. Every gift we buy on your wishlist is not a gift, but a return.
In return, you adopted the abandoned Chinese children back home;
In return for your devotion to raising them; Repay you for being their parents, so that they can have parents in their lives.
If you feel that you have too many gifts, share the gifts with other families who have adopted Chinese children and thank them for us.
The families then filled in the items needed by other families they knew who had adopted Chinese disabled children. So the love from the elders in the hometown spread like ripples in the water, the wish list was emptied again and again, and these gifts were finally transferred to 126 families through these 16 families. What a warm Christmas it was!
Whether it's actions or words, we can all feel that these American adoptive parents have a humble mentality. But it is in this humbleness that they are so great! They have formed a perfect family with endless efforts. These families are defined by love, not blood relation.
2. 我们素不相识，我们众志成城。